Senior SING! Plunders Pants From the Competition

The Class of 2024 finally eeks out a SING! win, at the costs of the audience’s wills to live.

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“Chat, is this real?”

That’s the question that lingered in audience members’ minds as they watched Senior SING!. It was hard to imagine that second semester seniors could even muster the power to get out of bed in the morning, let alone put on such a production. However, like seniors confused about when the FAFSA will finally get back to them on how much college will bankrupt them, the audience was left unsure as to what precisely was going on. 

Despite heavy advertising of their theme, One Piece, there was general confusion in the audience about the lack of an ocean on stage. As a reasonable audience member, we felt lied to, like the rug was pulled out from under us. Another thing that cannot go unsaid is that the audience was grossly misled and gaslit about Ambush Town. The chest was incontestably marked with the information: “Not a Trap,” but evidence suggests that it was, indeed, a trap. 

However, a few things were executed well, like the strong impression that some of their jokes were constructed by Bard, Google’s obsolete artificial intelligence chatbot. Other jokes, like Captain Crunch’s “I can’t hear you!” were otherwise fantastic and truly spoke to the audience, especially because those were the words the audience were thinking when they couldn’t otherwise hear the lyrics of the songs. Plus, the Seniors really nailed the whole idea of stealing and pirating, like when they stole Junior SING!’s incredible silver tearaway pants and had some undeserving stranger janitor (who looked weirdly like Grant from Junior SING!) wear them.

While Senior SING! was stuck in the fantasy world of pirates and sirens, it did not fear embracing realism! Especially considering their jokes about utilizing ChatGPT for recipes and Cup Noodles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It’s ironic how much the Seniors joked about not being able to do their own work, much like how they couldn’t create their own throne, or wheel, or a meaningful death scene.

Looking back at it all, the story of Senior SING! is endearing. Starting their SING! experience virtually, and getting last place THREE years in a row, it’s heartwarming to see them finally win the big one. At least now we won’t have to face weeks of angry, anonymous Facebook posts on Stuyvesant Confessions from Seniors talking about how they deserved to win after underperforming against SophFrosh.