The More-Practical AP

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Stuyvesant is constantly adding new APs, and this year is no exception. The Programming Office has finally added the coveted AP Lunch (available period nine—it’s for hardcore eaters).

In light of recent events, the Programming Office is adding AP Alternative Government and Politics (AGAP). AGAP is being offered to any student who meets the GPA requirement of below a 91.

This bold move is meant to teach students things that are more relevant to real life. Instead of teaching students why taxes exist, it teaches them to not pay them. And instead of teaching students about checks and balances, it teaches them that it's easier to try again than deal with them.

Furthermore, part of AGAP will highlight alternative forms of government from around the world. These new forms of government have been described by a credible inside source to win bigly, guaranteed. Additionally, these new forms of governments are more inclusive of animals, namely orangutan leaders.

The school is looking to hire a substitute teacher for the course. “We want a teacher who will be there to teach when the students are there to learn,” Assistant Principal of Social Studies Jennifer Suri commented.

AGAP students will take the newly-created AGAP AP exam in May. This test has 10 short answer questions. In addition, they all have the same answer: “short.”

Additional reporting was done by Michael Xu.