High Fun or High On Kool-Aid?

The Humor Department would like to express its extreme disappointment that, despite the many moles we planted in Senior SING! (you know exactly who you are), the show was not about 20 roaring furries but instead about a random decade. Who even cares what the Roaring 20s were? Well, apparently Senior SING! did. Supposedly, it was a time of COVID-19, Trump, and egg shortages. Wait, my bad, that’s the wrong century. The Roaring 20s was instead a period of Kool-Aid, child labor, and apparently, Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night.” How accurate and how furry-less. 

Throughout the show, the scandalous seniors appeared to be high on Kool-Aid. This was especially obvious during the dance battle when half the performers fell onto the stage (I mean the club floor) and unfortunately lost the dance battle. They tried to hide this by claiming the drugs were in the Coca-Cola mid-show, but let’s be honest, we all know the truth about the Kool-Aid. We also know the truth about what you did last Friday night. Don’t think you can just hide it in plain sight. We know. You know we know and we know you know we know. Understand?

Not only were they so brazen about their own Kool-Aid abuse, but they were also promoting underage Kool-Aid consumption in front of a crowd of minors. Think about the children! Freshmen are still toddling around the aisles; save it for the late-night performance! In addition, the raunchy, salacious, pushing the PG rating comedy of Puppet-Face and Ventriloquist-Head, when the two of them should just be getting a room, was absolutely, undeniably, not for children’s eyes. Promoting such an imbalance of power in a relationship? For Shirley’s sake, one of them puts his hand up [REDACTED]. It’s no wonder these guys were banished into the annals of Shirley’s (very legitimate) Temple, and they should probably stay in there. For our sake.

In addition, Senior SING! showed their true colors when they condoned real-life child labor. Offstage, SophFrosh SING! crews were spotted being forced into a sweatshop (or as the seniors call it, the costumes department). The seniors threatened to inhumanely extend SophFrosh working hours past 7:30 p.m. Senior SING! tied others up backstage and even made some freshmen feed halal food to the senior directors. 

If we were to note anything from Senior SING! though, it’s poor, poor Shirley. Not only is her backstory tragic, but she’s also the only one who seems to be aware of their existence in a cheap, rushed, clearly-high-school play. All her lines ended with “freeze frame” and “exit stage right.” Okay, we get it, Shirley, we get it, you’re the main character. Wait, what was that? She’s not? Oh, right, right, there was that other girl. What was her name again? Mildew? Yeah, probably that. Very out-of-the-way. You’re absolutely certain Shirley isn’t the main character?

Nevertheless, we’d like to toast Senior SING! (with Kool-Aid, of course). Not because they managed to win SING! (just as they totally did two years ago) but rather because they managed to push the boundaries of a school-appropriate show to nearly sound an alarm in Mr. Moran’s office. Next year, though, please just stick to the promised theme and include the promised furries for the Humor Department. Roar[ing 20s]!